Michael and Kevin met on the dating site OkCupid in 2010. After two pretty good dates, they were having trouble scheduling a third. To both of them, it didn’t seem like this thing was going anywhere. Kevin sent an email to Michael that said while it didn’t seem they were meant for each other, it did seem like they could be very good friends. Michael agreed.

For about a year and a half they emailed and met for meals and talked about their boy troubles. Michael came to a fiction and poetry reading with Kevin’s friends and the next day Kevin faced numerous questions about his new boyfriend. “We’re not dating,” Kevin said. “Not yet,” said fate. One night, Michael went to Kevin’s place to have dinner and watch a movie. As they were hugging and saying goodbye Michael felt a peculiar desire to kiss Kevin (which he did not act, on as he already had a boyfriend) and left questioning his feelings and their friendship.

During the summer of 2012, Michael went to Cambodia for 12 weeks and Kevin started having “the feels.” Because Michael was dating someone else, Kevin kept it to himself. While abroad, Kevin sent Michael a simple email saying hello and giving an update. It ended with three words: I miss you. Michael read the email and thought, “Oh, he loves me!” which was a little premature, but statistically accurate.

When Michael returned home from Cambodia he invited Kevin up to Bellingham for a weekend visit. He wanted to return the favor to Kevin for hosting him on the floor of Kevin’s apartment one night–Michael had been commuting to Seattle for classes at the University of Washington. Kevin asked where he might sleep when he came to visit; “On the couch…or my bed, if you want.” Kevin accepted the invitation to visit, but felt like he needed to tell Michael about “the feels.”

They had plans to meet for drinks about a week before at Liberty Bar. Just a few days before, Michael and his previous boyfriend ended their relationship. As Michael headed to Seattle to meet Kevin for drinks, he expressed to a friend a sudden nervousness saying, “I think this is going to be a thing.” They met for drinks, Kevin afraid to tell Michael about his feelings and Michael nervous knowing things could change. As Kevin was losing his courage, Michael shared that he was newly single. Kevin listened with sympathy and super-human patience as Michael shared the story. Then Kevin pounced.

Their first weekend in Bellingham turned out to be a wonderful, extended not-technically-first date. Kevin charmed Michael’s friends and captured Michael’s heart singing him a Tom Waits song as they drove through the Mount Baker National Forest. Kevin enjoyed the feeling of comfort he had with Michael, the ease of conversation, and the warmth of their cuddles.

Michael already had plans to travel the world for a year, having won a fellowship, and his trip was set to start in 9 months. They fell in love with time to spare and made the rounds of parental introductions before Michael’s departure. They kept in close contact with Skype and email while Michael was away despite poor internet connections. As a going-away gift, Kevin collected short stories and essays, one for each month, about the places Michael was scheduled to be, with an introductory/love letter from Kevin to go with each one. Kevin journeyed to Cape Town, South Africa halfway into Michael’s travels and they had a great week together.

Michael returned to Washington in May of 2014 and, instead of heading back to Bellingham, moved in with Kevin in Seattle, where the two have made a home together ever since.

The Engagement

Before Michael started his travels in 2013, they were flying back from a weekend in New Jersey and New York where Michael met Kevin’s parents and grandmother. Michael leaned over and said, “If you ask me, I’ll say yes.” Kevin silently decided to wait another 3 years as punishment for Michael’s insolence. Just before Thanksgiving in 2015, Kevin “lost” Michael’s ring, the ring Michael had worn every day for years and given to Kevin before he went traveling. Michael assumed that Kevin had pretended to lose the ring and waited expectantly through a Thanksgiving trip with Kevin’s family in Los Angeles for a proposal that didn’t come. On Christmas Eve, 2015, they planned to have Indian food at home, which is now a tradition. Before they started eating, Kevin gave Michael a small gift, a card, got down on his knee, and took the “lost” ring from his pocket. Michael did not make Kevin wait 3 years for an answer.

Now, Kevin and Michael are officially engaged… in combat.